Internalize This Paradox... or Seek Higher Power?

Kerry wrote: Thanks for putting that so clearly Amore, there's such a lot worth thinking about in your post for me.

It sounds like you are warmer than your immediate surroundings.
That's going to be beneficial for your surroundings.
For you .... not so easy.

If you've chosen a difficult path this time - I'm sure you would have had a good reason.

You've already had better advice than I could offer, so I'll just send my warmest greetings, along with my thanks.

Kerry,
Thanks for sharing such kindness with me.
It really touches my heart & soul.

I'm what some would call an empath... & what others would call codependent.
I've always been drawn to people's psychology... like when I go to a basketball game, I can't help but watch the people around me more than the game. People are so fascinating! I see what we have in common - & what we don't & I wonder... what's going on inside their mind, and heart.

Lately, I've become more aware - of a lot. But particularly, I've realized that my image of people close to me was way off. They haven't changed, but my eyes have been more open to more aspects of them - not just the good, but the bad too. Growing up, I believed people were either good or bad - no in between - which I know is incorrect, but it's tough to reprogram that.

It's almost like I've got an obsessive compulsive disorder about imperfection... I can't sit still & relax until everything & everyone's all perfect. lol But that's ridiculous. There are not so pleasant aspects of our physiology that we usually don't think about often... but it's always in the back of our mind. Maybe that's how I have to think about imperfection... be aware, but not focused on it. There's so much good in the world - & in people - & life is too short to stress about the perceived negativity.

As someone said, the glass is always full... 1/2 water & 1/2 air.

Amore wrote: Hi,
Intellectually, I've known for a while that we are "perfectly imperfect" but emotionally - it bugs me.

IE: When somebody obviously lied to me the other day and reality showed that it was indeed a lie, I feel the need to put up boundaries with that person, like I can't trust her anymore.

Yet, if I did that every time somebody betrayed me (or my ideals of right/wrong), I'd develop so many boundaries, I'd be a lone, miserable person.

Sometimes, I make myself so angry, so disgusted - at how imperfect I am.
I regularly do things counter to what I think/feel is ideal.
I've often heard & taught how important it is to love yourself... but if you're so imperfect - so conditional in your love, as everyone else is, you can't unconditionaly love yourself!

There's this idea, to not trust in the arm of flesh - the ego of us... which is what we use to communicate.
So, what's left?
Seeking a Higher Power - eternal principles of unconditional love?
Still, it seems to be too conflicting - because the means to resonate with unconditional love, is always condtional - always somewhat flawed & fallible.

Are we meant to be left out in the "void" - unattached to anything except abstract principles, who's expression changes constantly & eventually disappoints our expectations?

Hi Amore
All your feelings are within you already, you are not catching anger, you are creating it -it's your baby!- and so are all your other feelings and emotions , question is are you prepared to let them go - it's the same question for all of us. The outside world - in whatever form it needs to take- is to show us ourselves, both the good and the bad so we can identify, own and choose to keep or change. you can plainly see you are setting yourself up for a fall by your expectations so before you can change your feelings you will have to change your mind about the outside world and that includes the people in it.
I would teach that all ego's will let you down again and again, especially the one nearest to you- yourself !,
Unconditional love is a spiritual quality and so trying to apply it to the ego will always be difficult because one is real and one is an illusion ! you choose what you are and this choice creates or destroys the void you speak of.
The world is perfect for each and every one of us to see what we are creating of ourselves and to see and experience what we are created of and from already -love- unconditional love.
Heres a book I penned you might like the have a look at, 'The Art of Inner Peace'
www.paulwilliams.ie/Books/The%20Art%20Of%20Inner%20Peace.pdf
Happy Every Day
P

Angelman wrote:

Amore wrote: Hi,
Intellectually, I've known for a while that we are "perfectly imperfect" but emotionally - it bugs me.

IE: When somebody obviously lied to me the other day and reality showed that it was indeed a lie, I feel the need to put up boundaries with that person, like I can't trust her anymore.

Yet, if I did that every time somebody betrayed me (or my ideals of right/wrong), I'd develop so many boundaries, I'd be a lone, miserable person.

Sometimes, I make myself so angry, so disgusted - at how imperfect I am.
I regularly do things counter to what I think/feel is ideal.
I've often heard & taught how important it is to love yourself... but if you're so imperfect - so conditional in your love, as everyone else is, you can't unconditionaly love yourself!

There's this idea, to not trust in the arm of flesh - the ego of us... which is what we use to communicate.
So, what's left?
Seeking a Higher Power - eternal principles of unconditional love?
Still, it seems to be too conflicting - because the means to resonate with unconditional love, is always condtional - always somewhat flawed & fallible.

Are we meant to be left out in the "void" - unattached to anything except abstract principles, who's expression changes constantly & eventually disappoints our expectations?

Hi Amore
All your feelings are within you already, you are not catching anger, you are creating it -it's your baby!- and so are all your other feelings and emotions , question is are you prepared to let them go - it's the same question for all of us. The outside world - in whatever form it needs to take- is to show us ourselves, both the good and the bad so we can identify, own and choose to keep or change. you can plainly see you are setting yourself up for a fall by your expectations so before you can change your feelings you will have to change your mind about the outside world and that includes the people in it.
I would teach that all ego's will let you down again and again, especially the one nearest to you- yourself !,
Unconditional love is a spiritual quality and so trying to apply it to the ego will always be difficult because one is real and one is an illusion ! you choose what you are and this choice creates or destroys the void you speak of.
The world is perfect for each and every one of us to see what we are creating of ourselves and to see and experience what we are created of and from already -love- unconditional love.
Heres a book I penned you might like the have a look at, 'The Art of Inner Peace'
www.paulwilliams.ie/Books/The%20Art%20Of%20Inner%20Peace.pdf
Happy Every Day
P

What you suggest is just the other side of duality.
Although the so called "expanded awareness" you mention in your writing can be very comforting and a great relieve , it can also be another place to get stuck in.
( I would prefer it over being negative though..)
You mention the "I am" concept in your writings and while understanding that beyond that, things are not understood in a way which is easily translated into this experience you go on about this
"unconditional love" and inner peace.
It's a noble effort, and the world could very well be a much more enjoyable place but it has little to do with truth.
That which gave rise to the "I am" has not been excluded just because there is a self aware portion of the Universe with the appearance of free will.
The need to understand usually prevents any understanding, and even being aware of what your expressing makes no difference into always being a full expression of that "beyond".
I do not know Amore personally, yet it is apparent she is becoming somewhat more aware of her living reality and also seems to suffer from being empathic.
This usually translates into an experience which can be described as "uncomfortable" seeing what is perceived is usually the things that don't add up. And still having to mingle with it.
It does pose a great opportunity to figure things out, but that usually takes some blunt honesty.
It also makes creating a highly sophisticated spiritual seeker ego highly likely as it can pose
as a great relieve.It's a wholly valid option though.
I just seem to root more for the honest truth enquiry bit.
And it's the path where i might be able to give some pointers along the road.
On that note, i would also like to add that my human experience is far from "a walk in the park".
And i cannot imagine anyone consciously making the choice for it.
Yet i would have it no other way.

Hello Amore,
Re-reading your response, I notice that you see yourself as an "empath." I think of myself the same way, though due to the slippery nature of language, I'm not sure how similar our feelings will be in this respect.

My clearest memory of an empathetic event occurred on a university campus, as I was passing a restaurant. Several Chinese students, all seeming to converge from separate directions, met right in front of me, and started to exchange joyful greetings, as if they were all old friends, suddenly reunited. I believe a common form of greeting among the Chinese is "Have you eaten?" and perhaps this is what suddenly drew the group's combined attention to the restaurant ...
There was a huge emotional rush as the thought seemed to simultaneously illuminate their faces, and they surged forward, a cohesive group, with one intent --- lunch! Leaving me rather stunned by the power of their happiness which had overwhelmed me like a warm tidal wave.

I wonder if this bears any resemblance to your experience of empathy?
If it has, I'd like to share something which I've come to accept as valid for myself, and it's this: I receive emotional energy, which can be like a blow to the chest, but it is "clean" energy, whether generated by positive or negative emotions on the part of the other.
With my Chinese incident, I was lucky in perceiving the joyful nature of the event in a way which made it easy to see the positive side, but, had I been feeling lonely and sad, I'm sure the situation would have been very different, and I would have been alienated by the proximity of what I desired, probably sulking for the rest of the day.

My point in saying this, is that rather than feeling like a helpless pawn in the power of other's emotional activity, I know that I can cope with whatever arises because I'm responsible for my own feelings, and learning to steer my own course across the cosmos without too much buffeting from the emotional elements. Of course I forget this in the heat of many moments, but the knowledge is always there when I pause for reflection.

Since then, I was able to work for some years with people experiencing crisis and thoughts of suicide, without always being knocked off balance myself, which satisfied me that whether my interpretation of things is accurate or not, it has a utilitarian aspect, something I absolutely require of any philosophy.

So that's my "empathy," or whatever we should call it. Like many things, painful when I get it wrong, which I frequently do, but so reassuring when I'm at one with the flow, and to echo Goosone's sentiments, I too wouldn't have it any other way.

Gooseone wrote:

Angelman wrote:

Amore wrote: Hi,
Intellectually, I've known for a while that we are "perfectly imperfect" but emotionally - it bugs me.

IE: When somebody obviously lied to me the other day and reality showed that it was indeed a lie, I feel the need to put up boundaries with that person, like I can't trust her anymore.

Yet, if I did that every time somebody betrayed me (or my ideals of right/wrong), I'd develop so many boundaries, I'd be a lone, miserable person.

Sometimes, I make myself so angry, so disgusted - at how imperfect I am.
I regularly do things counter to what I think/feel is ideal.
I've often heard & taught how important it is to love yourself... but if you're so imperfect - so conditional in your love, as everyone else is, you can't unconditionaly love yourself!

There's this idea, to not trust in the arm of flesh - the ego of us... which is what we use to communicate.
So, what's left?
Seeking a Higher Power - eternal principles of unconditional love?
Still, it seems to be too conflicting - because the means to resonate with unconditional love, is always condtional - always somewhat flawed & fallible.

Are we meant to be left out in the "void" - unattached to anything except abstract principles, who's expression changes constantly & eventually disappoints our expectations?

Hi Amore
All your feelings are within you already, you are not catching anger, you are creating it -it's your baby!- and so are all your other feelings and emotions , question is are you prepared to let them go - it's the same question for all of us. The outside world - in whatever form it needs to take- is to show us ourselves, both the good and the bad so we can identify, own and choose to keep or change. you can plainly see you are setting yourself up for a fall by your expectations so before you can change your feelings you will have to change your mind about the outside world and that includes the people in it.
I would teach that all ego's will let you down again and again, especially the one nearest to you- yourself !,
Unconditional love is a spiritual quality and so trying to apply it to the ego will always be difficult because one is real and one is an illusion ! you choose what you are and this choice creates or destroys the void you speak of.
The world is perfect for each and every one of us to see what we are creating of ourselves and to see and experience what we are created of and from already -love- unconditional love.
Heres a book I penned you might like the have a look at, 'The Art of Inner Peace'
www.paulwilliams.ie/Books/The%20Art%20Of%20Inner%20Peace.pdf
Happy Every Day
P

What you suggest is just the other side of duality.
Although the so called "expanded awareness" you mention in your writing can be very comforting and a great relieve , it can also be another place to get stuck in.
( I would prefer it over being negative though..)
You mention the "I am" concept in your writings and while understanding that beyond that, things are not understood in a way which is easily translated into this experience you go on about this
"unconditional love" and inner peace.
It's a noble effort, and the world could very well be a much more enjoyable place but it has little to do with truth.
That which gave rise to the "I am" has not been excluded just because there is a self aware portion of the Universe with the appearance of free will.
The need to understand usually prevents any understanding, and even being aware of what your expressing makes no difference into always being a full expression of that "beyond".
I do not know Amore personally, yet it is apparent she is becoming somewhat more aware of her living reality and also seems to suffer from being empathic.
This usually translates into an experience which can be described as "uncomfortable" seeing what is perceived is usually the things that don't add up. And still having to mingle with it.
It does pose a great opportunity to figure things out, but that usually takes some blunt honesty.
It also makes creating a highly sophisticated spiritual seeker ego highly likely as it can pose
as a great relieve.It's a wholly valid option though.
I just seem to root more for the honest truth enquiry bit.
And it's the path where i might be able to give some pointers along the road.
On that note, i would also like to add that my human experience is far from "a walk in the park".
And i cannot imagine anyone consciously making the choice for it.
Yet i would have it no other way.

What I "suggest" is quite clearly stated as separation from source/life.
I don't know what "the other side of duality" means? can you expand on this perception.

I don't believe anyone gets stuck anywhere, all states of mind/being are choice. someone feeling stuck has choosen not to change (for whatever reason) simple as.

Unconditional love and inner peace are feeling and expediences and this IS beyond understanding and can only be KNOWN as opposed to knowledge

Like it or not the only "things" we really own that we can figure out are our feelings, "blunt honesty" owning your feelings !

Without the "spiritual seeker ego" there would be just ego, so the seeking gives meaning and purpose to the ego, which without purpose and meaning is just that, I AM THAT I AM, purposeless and meaningless in a world of illusion.

It's no walk in the park for anybody, it's not supposed to be. yet you cannot imagine anybody choosing it and in the same sentence you wouldn't have it any other way !!!. Change or no change, the choice makes the difference, it's the only true power we have-the choice over our state of being/mind and how we experience that.

@ Angelman

Uhm , i actually wrote it down incorrectly.
I meant that "unconditional love" is one side of something which is very much part of duality.
Although a human experience is inherently one made possible through ego, seeking purpose
and meaning and finding it in unconditional love and consciously making a choice to pursue
that road is not much different from seeking gratification in materialistic pursuits or having a
preconceived believe system.
There is nothing wrong with it, yet claiming it to be an inherent reality or something different /
more spiritual then what most people do strikes a wrong chord.
If you would use the concept "unconditional love" as a definition to describe something which
is generally indescribable it would not strike a wrong chord.
That which consciously makes a choice in a human experience, owns feelings and seeks
purpose and meaning is just plain vanilla ego.
Again , nothing wrong with dressing it up a little.

If i were at a crossing where one path had spikes on it and the other had a smooth flying carpet ride waiting , i'd surely choose the flying carpet.
Yet any hardship i might have endured has ended up in an experience wherein there seems to be no ability to want anything anything other then what is.
(This does not include food preferences, or any other simple material preferences which are still present due to my being a product of my environment and having a human experience because of that. By "want" i mean being convinced that reality needs to change to suit me better.)
I actually don't really know how i function, or how / where the urges to respond / act come from.
Yet i tend to be aware of where not to go and instantly suffer if i ignore that intuition.
Also the reasons why i am doing things ( if there are any ) usually become clear only looking back."Blunt honesty" is the willingness to bite the dust if i become aware afterwards that i have been a self delusional fool and taking responsibility for what felt like the "right thing"at a given time.This kinda translates into not knowing how i seem to know anything yet when something becomes clear i will act upon it and not hesitate to die doing so while at the same time being aware that i could be totally wrong about everything.